Forty three Seasons on the same team…Not bad!
It was two weeks before I returned to my counselling practice after arriving back home from Mexico. I was very glad to be hold up in our “Little Cabin in the Big Woods” appreciative of the beauty of the gilt on the snow from the brilliant Alberta sunshine.. Happy I was to be snow snowing on our trails bundled warmly in the confines of winter clothing. I had had the privilege in my first days back of reconnecting with all our adult children and our little grandkids sharing with them many of the treasures I had amassed from the markets of Mexico including my plan to rein in my continued “human doing” activity. My third daughter heavy with child was in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy getting ready to bring forth our sixth grandchild. I was excited to have been invited to assist the young parents in bringing new life into the world. Life was good. Actually it was great but in the recesses of my being I was conflicted. Mexico had cracked me open to a new way of doing life and now I was wondering “Is this what I really want? To slow down? To learn that REST was NOT a four letter word? The need to make a difference in the lives of others in my little corner of the universe ate at me. Maybe, I thought, the need to “climb a mountain” to do purposeful activity was in my DNA. Maybe my way of doing life had allowed me to accomplish more than the average bear because I was so focused on “doing” – so many pursuits – mothering, working, wifing, friending, athleticing, artisting, sucking every drop of nectar out of every flower in my life. In my teens my high school basketball coach had called me a dabbler – it wasn’t a compliment – I was involved in every activity possible and loved them all – well maybe physics didn’t grab me. Maybe my addiction to doing was how I soothed my undiagnosed ADHD. I knew I had no good sense of time but somehow I had managed to create many incredible moments and now daughter two was on me “Why are you running these Women’s Wellness Sessions, Mother? Dad’s retiring and you’re picking up speed! Why???” It was like she was bent on making my unconscious conscious. Was she reading my conflicted mind????? As I walked the trails of our quarter section imprinting them with the snowshoe design her voice resonated from the willows that stood bare along the trails. “Why Mom? At what cost?” When I got together with my two partners-my Director of Yoga and Director of Music – in the AIM ACADEMY the excitement we all felt as we discussed the possibilities of our Northern Alberta Women’s Wellness Seminar Series was gripping. The potential of getting women together to feel the power of the feminine energy that would permeate the room – electric. I felt called to pursue this venture. When the ideas flowed it was stronger than the ocean waves that had mesmerized me in Mexico. I was focused……again. But how could I balance my desire to slow down and yet find myself more than fascinated with the idea of speeding up on to another exciting challenge. Maybe it was my competitive nature. My kids all bugged me about my wicked laugh when I was winning at any card game or even playing mini sticks with my nine year old grandson. I was excited to lead this new venture…..I wanted to provide women in the wilds of Alberta with this opportunity. I knew we could offer an amazing program right here. Right now – second to none. My heart quickened at the possibility. ! However on those treks around the quarter -one foot in front of the other leaving my trail I was reminded that the trick was to balance this desire, this need for the pursuit and the need for rest. A time to work and a time to play. The 60s song based on the biblical verse found me. To every season Turn Turn Turn. There is a Reason Turn Turn Turn and a time for every purpose under heaven. Maybe this wasn’t a mountain I needed to climb. Maybe. Where did I want to spend my time and energy and how could I balance the many ideas that would keep me awake at 3:41 a.m. with the restorative elixir of deep sleep My mind started to swirl. The light of the full moon shone brightly into our bedroom. “Hey Man in the Moon. What do you think?” I breathed deeply bringing myself back into the moment trying to determine how I could do it all…..in a more balanced way. Was it possible? Was it the season for these events? Did the universe really unfold as the Desirerata stated …as it should???? Turn Turn Turn- My monkey mind did not stop. Mexico? Where are you when I need you?
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